What Bonds Us

In this town, people flock to visit during the time of year when they can do the things they love to do. And as the saying goes, "Birds of a feather flock together." So when people meet each other at a restaurant, bar or outdoor gathering, they usually mention what they are up here for (if it is not already apparent by their apparel).

People who rode up on motorcycles love to talk to other people who are up on their bikes. They will probably buy each other a drink and become friends and exchange numbers before the night is through. 

Same with people who pulled into the bay on a sailboat. They will talk boats and ask where else they have been and where they're going next. Same with people on mountain bikes. People who tour the UP camping. People who went to Isle Royale. Etc, etc.

Having Brady P in my life has also taught me that other people who have a special person with that extra 21st chromosome in their life flock together as well.

B and I have made a few friends based on this fact alone. We are able to chat for long periods of time, nodding and smiling, because we also have that common interest that has taken over our hearts.

We have had people recognize us from this blog, and it's always nice to meet you. 

We have also had people who know nothing about us, but they will just stop and talk to Braeden to bask in his glory. "Kindred spirit," they will say with no other explanation. Or, "I had a sister," they will nod.

Just like motorcycles and sailboats, this common thread makes us feel bonded before we even speak. It's so refreshing to watch how people connect from a spark like this.

I'm grateful for the new relationships I've found, and I relish in how the simple act of Brady P's smile and "Hi, how's it going?" can make someone's day.

It's neat to watch this happen between strangers. It's fun to feel it happen to myself. And it's apparent to me that, in all realness, we actually have more in common than we know.

We are humans on this planet.

There is a lot to talk about with another human simply because that's what we all are. 

We ALL are!

My and Brady P's mission is to help people believe that.

Thanks for being part of our mission!

My toothless wonder fast asleep.

Sometimes a tuckering out and an old-fashioned rock-a-bye is what bonds us.

Finding the Time

I don't think I really need to explain how difficult it is to find the time (and desire) so sit at a computer during the summer. There are so many other things to do!

So bear with me if posting is spotty.

Fortunately, life is good overall. Pretty wonderful, actually!

We sure could use some rain, but I think most states are in that boat. Especially those with the wildfires burning. My heart goes out to them!

B and I are just trying to make the most of the hot weather. Here is a pic of bubble time the other day. Brown grass and all. He is getting good at swinging that wand!

The berries are out! Bils and blues for sure. Raspberries and cherries as well. Thimbles are just starting.

And pretty much everybody who works in town is in a robotic state right now. "It's July," they shrug.

It's true. 

It's July.

Town is seriously busy, and that's how it goes.

I really do enjoy my new perspective of being a mother instead of a bartender this time of year.

Life used to be working crazy many hours each week serving  locals and visitors at a whirlwind pace. Now our biggest social interaction involves walking through town while little man says "Hi, how's it going?" to everyone. The life of a speedy server is something he can't even grasp, and I am happy for him. He then shares his perspective with me.

So I am happy for me! Ha!

Even with all the other jobs I have currently chosen to pursue, I am either working one-on-one or with small groups. It's quite a change from my early years in this town.

But it sure is uplifting to see my friends, who are running around in automatic mode (I know the feeling!), smile and take a moment to high five or hug little Brady P when we come around.

That is truly one of his best gifts: to remind us how important it is to take time for and acknowledge the ones we love.

Even when we don't think we have the time to do it.

Letting It Go

Brady P. is coming into this stage of development that is kind of shocking to me.

Not only is he exerting independence, but he is really blossoming his creativity and preferences.

As a mother who started this journey on high alert for health and safety, this has taken some getting used to. I actually have to consciously shift my attitude and priorities in order to allow him to manifest his individuality.

For instance: I usually just cook for us, set everything up for us and tell him when it's time to eat. But he really likes to help me (or anyone!) with whatever needs to be done.

So one day, while I was making lunch, he came over and said, "Mummy, let's have a picnic!"

It was a lovely day, and I need to let his ideas flourish, so I said, "That's a great idea! Let's get it ready!"

I set out a "picnic tray" and had him load his fork, his drink and some napkins. He did it all with pride in his step. When everything was finished, I carried the tray, and he helped me with the door.

"Mummy, right here," he said, so I knew where to set the tray down.

We had a nice little picnic in the sunshine. It was his idea, and he helped make it a reality!

On Monday, I took him into the co-op to get some groceries. I pulled out a shopping cart (they are smaller than most carts), and B said, "I push it!"

Well, off he went like a bat out of hell, and I had to reign him in and pull him back to the correct aisle. Then he took off again, stopped at the sale rack and put a bag of veggie chips in the cart... like he was in charge.

"Okay," I said, "we can eat those. They are two for $6, so do you want to pick out another bag?"

He picked out a different flavor. 

Nice. Okay. We can do this.

Then he zoomed off to the next sale rack, lifted a large bottle of avocado oil off the shelf and gingerly put it into the cart.

"Okay..." I said again. "I suppose we were going to run out soon anyway."

Then I figured I should just let him shop because he was picking out things that we actually use, and, well, they were on sale!

After we parked the cart in the produce section, he picked out carrots, cauliflower, broccoli, an apple and a watermelon. 

Some things we already had, but the things that were not on my list, I let him keep because that probably meant he would eat them. Good deal.

At the check out, he helped lift some items to the counter. What a little man he is. He is only 6 and a half, and he really enjoys doing the mundane things in life because, well, that's what people do!

As his mother, I need to let him.

And the more I let him, the more I see unfold. The more I see unfolding, the more he automatically does the dutiful things in daily life like get dressed and sit down to eat and take a tubby and so on.

It's as though the routine things that used to be a struggle are more automatic to him because he is able to branch out beyond the mundane in a more creative way.

It's awesome for me to watch it unfold for him and a relief for me to know it will happen.  I can just let some things go.

Especially the things I stuck into a pattern in my own mind. Releasing them has allowed him to be himself.

Ahhh, welcome to parenthood all over again!

Here's the welcome sign at our chiropractor office. He was a star there too because we just let him do his thing. He almost got hired as the assisstant!

Screen Time

Hi!

I apologize, but I have extra screen time to do for work and trainings, so staring at this screen right now just spins me out.

On a wonderful note, Brady P's heart check-up when great yesterday. "His repair was done very well (6 years ago) and just might hold for the rest of his life." ~ The Cardiologist

Woohoo!

See you when I see you!

We Are Not Alone

Hi!

How are you?

I hope this post finds you well. 

If it doesn't, make sure to talk to somebody about how you are feeling. They will listen!

If they don't, tell somebody else.

If it's something you have to complain about often, well, then maybe it's time for a change!

Easier said than done, but only you can change a part of your life that is bringing you down. It's not worth it to feel suppressed if you have the freedom to change your circumstances.

Believe me when I say that I have spent the last few years of my life making these changes for my own sanity and health. Right now I feel great, so that's promising. Until I get into the next learning experience I will soon need to get out of. 

Ha!

That's how life works.

I enjoy the ebb and flow. I am eager to keep learning about myself. I appreciate difficult situations that show me what my priorities really are.

I have even gotten to the point where extremely humbling, ego-shattering experiences bring me peace. They say, "That's not what life is about, Amanda! Humble yourself!"

And I do. It's so peaceful.

Peace is better than drama, 100%!

But I have also worked diligently to surround myself with support from friends, family and community. It's such an uplifting feeling, and I'm grateful!

I hope you have a good friend too. I really do! I hope you have at least one person you can depend on to lend an ear.

If you don't, please reach out to somebody else in your family, neighborhood, from high school or even a professional.

Heck, you can even shoot me an email!

Nobody should feel boxed up or alone.

Life isn't easy all the time. But when it is, be grateful and share it with others. When it's not, talk to those others.

That's what keeps us on a good path.

Okay, my sermon is done for the day! Enjoy your week!

Strawberry Fields For Real

Hi!

Brady P and I went to visit my parents for a few days.

With our timing, we scored the best time to pick strawberries at Glendale Farms.

I remember going there as a kid with my brother and sister (and parents, of course) and coming out of the fields with red hands, chins and shirts. I loved the tractor-pulled wagon ride that got us to our rows. 

It really is a cool experience, so I was tickled that we got to do it with my own little boy!

P.Pie in his row

The berries were BEAUTIFUL!

He found the BIGGEST one!

Waving from his tractor

That was really the gist of it. The tractor ride was my favorite part again... or maybe eating the berries... or maybe watching people's reactions to how charming this little boy is.

Have a great week!

Shaping Realities

Hi!

If you've read Digging for Light, you might remember a story where a teenage boy, who thought Brady P. was really cool, asked me what Down syndrome was. He had never heard of it.

Do you remember what I did? 

I totally flopped. 

I gave him a text book answer from the 1980's. Not very flattering for that extra 21st chromosome.

Well, today I was talking to a grown man about my son. After a while he said, "I don't really know what Down syndrome is."

I started with the typical extra 21st chromosome biology stuff, but I realized that doesn't really mean much to anyone unless they are in the medical or biology field.

Then I flashed back to that moment I flopped with the teenager. I realized that this was my moment to redeem myself! Someone who didn't know what it meant! How could I shape their reality?

In a mere second, I figured out how to break it all down into two parts. I took a deep breath and started.

"Well, I think there are two main components." I said. "For one, their brain is not really set up to learn and develop like most people do. They have to work really, really hard and do things many times before they really understand most concepts.

"For two," I continued, "I think they are more connected to some of the important things in life. They are better able to empathize with others, show unconditional love and be grateful and joyful in the moment."

There. I did it! And I think he understood.

It was really a neat moment in my life, I suppose. 

I just find it odd because I am a mother of someone who has that extra chromosome, so I take for granted that everyone knows what it is. And when somebody doesn't, I'm so shocked that I almost don't know what to say!

But I think that answer sums it up for the most part.

Then I went on to list some of Brady P's talents and ensured him that even people with Down syndrome are different amongst themselves just like all humans are.

Cuz we all are. And we should respect that.

Brady P. likes to take dogs for a walks. I don't really recommend his services yet because he is quite a leash yanker, but maybe he'll ease up someday... and get a job! Ha!

A Good Direction

Hey!

Nice to see you again.

I was pulling two to three times the hours on a computer in the office, and staring at my own computer was the last thing I wanted to do in the evening. So thanks for your patience.

Town is different since I saw you last. For many reasons, but, to name a few, the trees now have all their leaves, more businesses are open, more people are here and the black flies are out!

All good things, I suppose!

Brady P. is doing great. He gets to meet random people and charm them, so that's always heart-warming!

And it's certainly rock chucking season, so we've been down at the shores. It's wonderful for us both. I try to let him lead where we go and how long we stay. It's just easier for us both that way. I'm not one to promote stressful situations.

Life is good, though.

Braeden's dad is back up for the summer, so they get to spend time together. B-man sure loves to do guys things! I can't say I'm particularly good at them, so I'm happy they both get to do that for each other.

I really don't have anything profound for you at the moment. Just wanted to check in. I hope you are doing well and listening to your heart!

Because it will just keep trying to get your attention until you listen.

For real!

I got to go to Isle Royale too, by the way. For five days!

This is my favorite picture from the trip. We nosed the canoe north from Pickerel Cove, and this was the view. That is Lake Superior in utter calmness on the north shore. And if you look in the background between the middle island the the right side, you'll see Canada. Those are the legs of the "Sleeping Giant."

So things are heading in a good direction!

Hiatus

Hi!

We are doing well, but quite busy.

I'm going to take a hiatus for the rest of May unless a new world of more time and focus unfolds.

Thanks for your patience.

See you in June!

Even little man gets bushed!

Like a Dream

Hey!

Sometimes you just don't know what to say, right?

In those moments, it might be better not to say anything at all! So that's what I did. Sorry I missed you.

I guess the most meaningful thing that I can tell you about right now is how sweet it is to snuggle with my little boy at night.

We get to snuggle up together pretty much every night during the chilly half of the year. That's a lot of bed time snuggles!

And each night (unless I have to exit sooner), I lay next to him until he falls asleep.

Soft lullaby music plays. My left hand rests across the right side of his body as he holds my face in his hands or rubs my eyebrow. We say "night night" and "love you so much" and "see you in the morning" and talk about the day and giggle for a bit.

Sometimes I sing him a song.

Then his breathing deepens and gets a touch louder. He falls asleep in my arms. 

I cherish that for a minute or two.

Then I make my escape. I slowly lift my left arm up. Then I take his soft, warm hand off my cheek, give it a kiss and lay it on his other hand on the pillow.

And wait...

to make sure he's still asleep.

Then I rise and slowly walk out of his room, closing the door and giving a nod of gratitude.

Whew.

I am amazed at how fast he will fall asleep sometimes. It does make me feel good to know that he feels so comfortable and relaxed around me.

That sweet little angel boy.

I know he won't want me to snuggle with him forever, and our first few years were a LOT of work to get him to sleep.

So this feels like a dream.

And I just wanted to share it with you.

Can't get his picture at night, so here's a fun frame nap shot

Little Victories

I think I've alluded to the fact that school mornings are get-up-and-go with no dilly dallying.

He's got to have his one bite (thyroid medicine), pee on the potty, get dressed and ride horses.

No wait, Mom. It's not ride horses. It's eat breakfast.

Oh yeah.

Haha. That is our song each morning to stay on task.

Then, when the big hand is on the nine, I put his shoes, hat, jacket and mittens out for him to choose which goes on next. Usually, during this process, I have to prod him to pick what goes on next and help him put it on.

But this morning, something changed.

I laid out his clothes when the big hand was on the nine. I told him I was going to put my boots on, and, I kid you not, by the time I slid my feet into both boots, I looked over and he had his hat and jacket on.

"Look, Mummy!" he showed me proudly.

Then he sat right down next to his shoes.

"Okay," he sing-songed. "Now my shoes!"

"Are you going to put them on by yourself?" I asked.

"Yes, Mummy."

And I watched in amazement as he did -- ever so diligently. Even the straps before and after. 

He tried his mittens by himself too (yes, it's still cold here!), but I had to help him with one of them.

I knelt down by him and hugged him so tight.

"I am so proud of you, P Pie! You can get your things on all by yourself! What a big boy, you are!"

"Yes, Mummy." he said. "Okay, let's go out!"

What used to be a terribly long, drawn out struggle turned into a quick two minute process. I know not everyday will be perfect like that, but what an amazing step forward!

My little independent boy. I am so proud of him.  He can do it, he wants to do it and he actually does it.

It's still a bit early to imagine this entirely, but someday, all the troubleshooting and struggling we do in a day, just to get through, will be done (or different!). I will have so much more energy for more productive things!

But right now, they are all teaching moments and guidance and persistence. Oof. It's been a lot, but we are getting there, and those little victories like we had this morning sure make it all worth the effort!

Chucking rocks in his duds

Thank you to everybody who believes in him.

Cast Away

I don't kow what else I can really say about this video to make you see the genuine, peaceful nature of Brady P. any more than the video does itself.

Enjoy!

P.S. if you are reading this from the email, please visit the video at this link.

Timed Out!

Oh, man. 

How many Wednesdays are they putting in a week now? Sheesh!

Yesterday was my birthday, so I didn't write, as you can tell. But I will say that my soul entered its thirties as a lamb and it's going out like a lion!

Hear me roar, baby. I'm on fire!

Okay, here's a story for you.

I found this situation to be quite eye-opening, so I'll see if I can share it with you properly.

I picked up my little man from his grandparents' house on Saturday. We drove back to Copper Harbor on Sunday.

On the way, I had to stop for gas. It was just over halfway of our five hour drive, so I figured we could both go in for a potty break and pick out a snack. It's just the novelty of it.

I pulled up to the pump. I pushed the "Pay Inside Credit" button cuz I knew we would make a purchase inside as well.

I returned the nozzle and opened Brady P's door.

"Hey, dude! Are you ready for a break?" I asked him.

"Yes, Mama. And how about a treat?" he smiled.

"Okay." I acquiesced. "Wow, you are still dry! We will go potty inside too."

"Okay, Mummy."

And I helped him heroically jump out of the van.

"Do you want to put on your mask right here or before we go in?" I asked and fumbled with our masks. I put his on before we went in.

Then we used the restroom. The one-seater woman's room. I went. Then I helped him go. Then I wiped down the seat because he can only do it if he stands on the seat. We washed our hands.

I opened the door to see two ladies waiting in line.

"Oh! I said. "Thanks for your patience!"

They were not amused.

B and I browsed a couple aisles. I grabbed an orange juice. He found the ice cream. As we scanned the shelf for something not-so-dairy, I heard a man shouting.

"Your gas is timing out!"

Pause. I was not paying attention.

"Your gas is timing out!"

I heard these words, but I thought somebody was saying that they couldn't pump all their gas or something.

Then, the man behind the counter got closer.

"Ma'am! Your gas is timing out! It thinks you're a drive-off!"

Oh my gosh! He was talking to me!

"Hurry up, Braeds! Pick something out! How about a Rice Krispie bar?"

"No, Mummy," he said, still eyeing up the ice cream cooler.

The man behind the counter grew increasingly nervous, so I figured I'd do the unthinkable -- use my debit card twice in a row. Ha! Like that was a big deal!

I left B to stare at ice cream, and I walked up to the counter, noticing a muffled alarm going off. Geez.

"How about if I just pay for my gas now and then pay for our other things when we are done?" I asked him.

"Yeah, sure, just, yeah," he stuttered, obviously agitated.

I have never heard of gas timing out before, but apparently it's a big deal!

I paid him and then found my child who picked out a push pop. Good grief. He can't push his own push pop! I knew it would be work for me while I drove (sticky work at that!) but it was also not really a dairy item, so at least we would sleep that night.

"Okay, bud. Put it on the counter, so he can scan it," I told my triumphant child.

Then I used my debit card again for a pittance of an amount, but at least the man had relaxed.

"Thanks for your patience with us," I told him with sincere eyes.

"Yes. Of course," he replied.

B and I walked out, and I half expected the police to follow my van and ask me if I paid for my gas, but that didn't happen. Good thing because I didn't get my receipt! Ha!

While I buckled the sweetest little boy on the face of the earth into his carseat, it kind of dawned on me: I am a very patient person.

Nothing we did, from the time I pumped gas, until the time I got timed out, was hurried. At the same time, nothing was too much out of the ordinary either. 

We were simply a mom and her son making a pit stop on the way home.

My next question was, who the heck sets the time limit for a drive off? We certainly didn't make the cut. How many other families don't make the cut? How many other unhurried souls don't make the cut?

I don't know.

And now I wonder how many of those timing outs he has in a day... or a month!

I don't know!

But we apparently took too long, and that was just fine with me. Next time we take too long, I'll know what I am getting shouted at for!

Back home where we can be in the moment