Number 27

Without really understanding the full concept of "sports," Brady P. is really into sports.

He loves to watch slam dunks, half court shots, puck handling, net shots, chipping and putting on the green -- especially when the player of any of those games make their shot.  

When he watches someone score and/or celebrate their shot, he goes into convulsion-type things.  Have I told you about this before?  It's nuts.  Here's a picture of one of his moves that I caught last winter before the world shut down.  He still does the same thing... maybe more intense even!

Pretty exciting, hey?

Sometimes it's just as exciting to watch hime react as it is to watch the actual game!

Not only does he like to watch these sports, he also likes to try them himself.

I remember the first time I took him to the shores of Lake Superior where we could sit right in the rocks.  It was the spring of 2015, so he was anywhere from 6-8 months old. 

He picked up a rock and dropped it, mesmerized by the sound and the gravity of it.  If I could properly monitor him from putting them in his mouth, I'd let him play.

Well, as you well know, that morphed into an obsession of throwing rocks into the lake.  And from those early days, he began to hone his strength and accuracy.

He's a real Nolan Ryan.  A Harlem Globetrotter.  And possibly, in time, a Wayne Gretzky.

He loves to watch and he loves to play.  And when Craig asked him what number would be on his jersey, he said, "27."

Twenty-seven.

So he calls himself number 27, and sometimes we have to use that to get his attention or make him do what we want when he's being stubborn.

"Come on, 27! Down the lane and into the potty!" Or, "27!  We're on a team!  Let's do this together!"

So, of course, we all have numbers too.  I won't get into all of that, but feel free to pick a number for yourself!  What number would be on your jersey?  The sport doesn't even matter because you can be in a bunch of them like Brady P. is.

My lucky number 27.

Underwear

Brady P. is turning into a big boy.

His extra chromosome definitely curbs the timing of his milestones, but he is getting there.

I wonder if the UPS driver is confused by the fact that I still get Pull-Ups delivered to my house.  I mean, Brady P. is six years old.  Is he really still in diapers?

Overall, yes.

But each day we have been working on peeing in the potty.  Haha.  I hope that terminology makes you smile because it's just what parents say to their kids during potty training.

And finally, six-and-a-half years later, Brady P. is potty training successfully. 

He wears his superhero underwear after he goes pee in the morning and keeps them dry throughout the day.  Usually I set a timer, but he has been really good about keeping himself dry and knowing when he has to go.

I have to tell you of a proud moment.

We came up into the house, and I did a little cleaning up before his bed time.  When I was done, I looked around for him.

"P. Pie.  Where are you?" I asked.  

I scanned a couple rooms before noticing the light was on in the bathroom.  I cracked the door open, and what did I see?  A sight that hit me so hard, I cried because I realized that we are reaching a new point in our lives.  I felt, for the first time, that he is not going to be in diapers forever, which was what it felt like before.

There, through the crack in the door, I saw little Brady P... well imagine a drunk man in an alley peeing on a brick wall with one hand against the wall, so he doesn't tip over.  Head down watching his stream.  Add his shirt tucked under his chin and his pants around his ankles, and you have Braeden's position over his Paw Patrol potty.

What a little man.

And all by himself!!!

He decided he had to go, and he went in and did it all by himself.  No timer.  No prodding.  No help.

Just pure, instinctual manliness.

I really was quite floored with the occasion.  

So now I give him more control over when he goes because, well, only the one who has to pee knows when he has to pee.  And he's been proving it pretty consistently.

The number two on the other hand, well, that's a work in progress.  And I'll still put him in a Pull-up if we leave the house just in case, but we are getting there.

Yes.  We are over the hump because he recognizes the urge and he can do the whole process including washing his hands all by himself.

We agreed that his resolution for 2021 was to get out of diapers, and we are already so close!

Way to go, Brady P.  And thanks to our family and mentors who helped him get this far.

In order not to embarrass him with a superhero underwear picture, here is a cute one from a walk last week.

Have a wonderful day!

Oh, and speaking of resolutions, I started writing my next book, and I hope to get it out this year.  I am working on it!

Snow Angel

Happy New Year!!!

I am not feeling too verbose today, so here are a couple pictures of my little snow angel.

Have a great day!

Rejoicing in a Victory

Happy winter!!!

We just got what looks like 8-12" of powdery delight dumped on everything, so that sure makes it feel like winter is here!

What do I have for you today?

A heart melter.

Who is the biggest heart melter I know?

Brady P. Pie Jonesie of love.

Since schools and pretty much everything in this lovely state are taking giant precautions against a contagious virus, the one room schoolhouse did a video program this year.  It was pretty cute.

One of the scenes had Brady P. singing a solo of Jingle Bells.  In the program video, his solo was cut short and finished by his aide singing the line for him.  When I watched it, I didn't know why.  I figured he just got sidetracked or something.

But one day, I saw the original clip of that scene, and I learned why he stopped.

It made me break into absolute tears.  Good tears.  Happy tears. Like, truly the proudest mother on earth tears.

I can't even type about it without crying.

I will let you watch it to see if you got the same thing out of it as I did.

Oh man.

Sorry his voice is a little muffled with the mask and all, but he was saying the words.  His classmates heard him.  And they were proud.  So proud.

They know he has to work hard especially when it comes to speaking long phrases.  I'm not going to lie, I hear him jibber jabber throughout the day lately, so the fact that he sang Jingle Bells did not surprise me all that much.

But the fact that his classmates clapped and shouted so triumphantly lets me know that they are aware of how hard he works and how far he has come.  They were so genuinely proud of him that it made my heart explode.

Let me put it this way.

I am his mama.  I've been with him for over six years immersed in therapies, reading, speaking and all the things.  It's quite the project to help give a little person all the tools they need to be the best they can be.

But that's what I'm doing.

And to see that his classmates feel that they have invested time, energy and that genuine belief that he can do it, and then feel it's a victory to see that he has done it was almost like I was seeing a part of myself through them.  In them.

And it was so stinkin' beautiful!

It meant the world to me.

Thanks for sharing that with me.  I hope every person in the world gets to feel that at some point in their life because, well, there really isn't anything quite like it.

See you in 2021.  I bet you're ready!

Best Lights in Town

Hi!

Merry Christmas and stuff!

I had to make you wait a little bit longer because I found a real treat for you.

But first, here is a precious picture of Brady P. and Gramma Mary frosting the little cookie men.  He picked purple, and I'm not surprised.  It's his favorite color.

Sorry it's a little glowy -- I think I had smeared something on my lens.

We are having a wonderful time with grandparents this holiday time.  Since I haven't slept anywhere else since August, I decided we better get the heck out of the harbor for a bit and be with family, so we could give actual hugs and laugh in the same room and cheers real glasses.

That is something to be grateful for!

Plus, the light show we saw in little ol' Clintinville, Wisconsin was absolutely stunning.  Maybe it's because I'm just into that sort of thing, but I was floored by the effort these people put in there on Brix Street.  They won the city-wide Christmas light competition, and it's easy to see why!

The first night we checked it out, I was in the back seat, so my video wasn't so good.  I had to go back, so you could see the real thing.

What a treat!

Enjoy! 

(Please click the link below to visit it on YouTube.  If you are viewing this from the email, you might have to visit Downs By the Bay if it won't click through.)

Xmas light show!!!

Taking It All In

I have to tell you about this moment I had with Brady P last week.  Well, Brady P. and the greatest freshwater lake in the world.

The air was chilly and breezy, but I knew we could handle it.  As long as we bundled up... and I brought a blanket to sit on because it snowed a bit that morning.

B loves Hunter's Point, so whenever I tell him we're going there, he complies with all the necessary prep like getting his jacket and boots on and getting into the van.  

I drove to Hunter's Point to get us out of the house for a bit.  And see that beautiful lake.

We walked down the boardwalk to the lakeshore.  At the end, of course, we got hit with a facefull of wind. 

"Brrrrrr!" I shivered.  "Good thing we have a blanket!"

I let him pick our path to the shore.  He likes to make decisions.  And when we got to just the right spot, I laid down our blanket.  I sat on one end and he sat on the other.

You know what we did then?  

We became one with the waves.

You've probably heard me talk about this before.  Brady P. has this fascination with the rhythm of the waves and the force with which they break and splash.  He will sit there mesmerized as his body works into little convulsions with each crash.

I have grown quite fond of this characteristic of his, so I have started doing it too.  I let my body get all excited when a nice looking wave rolls to the shore.  Then I shake and tense up just as it crashes with my eyes and mouth wide open.

It probably looks so silly.

Especially when we both do it.

But that's what we did!

And then he crawled onto my lap.  I covered his little legs with his end of the blanket and snuggled him in my arms to keep us warm.

Then we watched the waves together.

Oh, I should tell you that the beach that day was carved out pretty low, so the waves broke just below our head height.  We were sitting quite close to the water level, so it almost seemed like we were floating on the lake too.

It was so cool.

But I honestly think that was one of the most special times we had out there together.  He didn't throw a single rock.  We just watched each wave come in with the utmost curiosity, excitement and respect.  Cuz we got sprayed a couple times!

And there I was with the world's sweetest little angel boy in my lap as our bodies shook together with each roll and crash.  Then we would look at each other and silently agree that that was a super good one, and then look out at the lake again to watch the next wave.

Silently.  Respectfully.  Curiously.  Understood.

It was really so magical that I knew I had to tell you about it even when we were still out there.  It was a few days ago, so I can't do the moment justice.

But one of the oddest parts to me was that he did not pick up a single rock to throw.  Not one!  And he's my little rock chucker.  

Not that day!

That day we took it all in.  Sometimes you have to do that.

You know full well that this is not a picture of Hunter's Point.  Nor was it taken last week.  But hey, I had to slap on a picture of her Majesty somehow!

Fast Healer

Sunday was just an ordinary evening.

My mom texted to ask if we could FaceTime for a couple minutes (which my Dad and I joke about because it's never just a couple minutes).

So I called her.

Brady P. was listening to his music, so he wasn't too interested in anything else.  But then I had an idea to engage him.

It was just a normal night, remember.  His first day back to school was the next morning.

"Hey, Braeds!" I interrupted over the "Wash Your Hands" song for the umpteenth time that day.  "Want to show them how you hang?"

"Oh!  Yeah!" he agreed.

He gripped the bar that extends over his little trampoline, pulled his legs over it and clasped it with his knees.  A pretty cool trick! Gramma and Grampy were impressed.

But then he did this flip where he let go with his hands and undid his knees, so he totally let go of the bar.  Kind of like the "penny drop" we did in elementary school or one of those flip dismounts only gymnasts should do.

But that was his first time.

As I shouted, "Woah, cool flip, dude!" I heard the tunk sound of his head hitting the metal rim of the trampoline.  It took him a moment to react.

"I godda go!" I told my parents.  

Then he began to cry.  A wicked cry.  As I gingerly helped him sit, he held his hands over his mouth, muffling his wails.

When I looked down at the surface of the trampoline, I saw all the blood that dumped out of his mouth.  And I watched more blood run down his hands and face.

I have seen enough bloody wrecks to know that when you see blood, especially on an impressionable child, you don't freak out.

Since it was my own child, and I kind of was freaking out on the inside, I took a deep breath, and did what I know you should do to the best of my ability: Stay calm and stop the bleeding.  Major priorities here.

I ran to get a piece of paper towel (but I should have brought the whole roll).  "Here, sweetie.  Hold this up, and spit!"

"Ptu," he spit in little Brady P. not-really-spit way.  But it seemed more effective than when he brushes his teeth!

"Good job!  Can you spit for me again?" I directed as we filled up three more pieces of paper towel.

With blood.

When his mouth was finally draining faster than it was filling, he was able to speak.  He looked down at the trampoline and his hands and shirt and said, "Mummy, that's blood."

"It is blood," I agreed.  Because, that's just what I do when he makes a correct observation.  I was trying to make things feel ordinary.  

"That's your blood, sweets.  You hit your mouth on the trampoline while you were doing that cool flip!  Can I look in your mouth, please?"

He opened a little bit, and I saw this lovely gouge stamped into his tongue.

"Oh, God," I thought.  "That's like three teeth worth of wound.  Good thing tongues heal fast!"

Once I understood the source of the bleeding, I had a decision to make: Drive 40 miles to the ER or take care of it myself.

"Tongues heal fast," I repeated to myself.

Then I did what I always do in a medical emergency.  I called my mom.

She got a look at the wound, and I proudly showed my parents all the blood we had cleaned up.  

She agreed that tongues are vascular and heal quickly, so we could probably stop the blood at home.  She also gave me many more recommendations than I never asked for because she is a nurse.  

A really good nurse.

I tried her ice cube trick and got him to swallow some ice cold water.  Within moments after the second call with my parents, the bleeding stopped.

"Look, Braeden!" I cheered, "You're spitting clear now!  The blood stopped!  You're doing great!"

By that time I had him in my lap and arms, rocking him gently and still soaking up his slightly-tinged drool from his sweet little ever-drooling mouth.

I just kept telling him how he was going to be all better soon, and that he was doing really well.

I think that was key.  Because I think he believed me.  Because that's was happened.

Sure, I mean, he was in a lot of pain that night, so I had to give him something stronger than Tylenol.  I conferred with my nurse on that, and he slept soundly for a while.

I did not sleep, however.  I lied next to him with this Dear Santa song we both love stuck in my head while I listened to make sure he was breathing.  

You know, typical mom stuff.

And in the morning, he woke up way more chipper than I would have thought.  And way earlier.

"Mummy, lets' get up!" he urged at 6:45 am (which was earlier than if I had set his alarm for school!).

"Nope, " I replied.  "I'm still tired."

"Okay.  I'll go play.  You stay sleeping."

Did I ever tell you that I have the coolest did in the world???

So I turned on a light for him and laid down in my own bed for a bit.  Being unsure of how he would feel in the morning, I notified the school during the wee hours that he needed a day to heal.

Eating breakfast was a bit rough for him, but he seemed pretty good otherwise.  And when I looked in his mouth, I was surprised how it looked the next day.

What a great healer!  Even all the other teeth piercing marks were gone!

And within minutes, he was back to listening to music and... jumping on his trampoline.

But I lined the rim with a foam pool noodle, so he can keep practicing his flips.

And when I picked him up from school yesterday, his wonderful aide said, "He healed up so fast!  Mouths are amazing."

Yup.  That's what I thought!  Whew!

P.S.  Copper Harbor Vitality is having a holiday sale!  If you are interested in checking out the new sale items, new artwork and getting an extra 20% off of all products (with the code GRATEFUL), click here to shop!  Thanks!

Just Perfect

I guess that something pretty wonderful has been on my mind.

I remember my internal debate about if I really wanted to ever have kids.  Since I was little, to when I was in my 20's, to when I was married with a blossoming career, I debated.

"I think a kid would get in the way of all this traveling I have to do for my job," I told myself when I was an active outdoor freelance writer.

And that assumption was correct.

But you know what?

After little Brady P. was born with all the extras that came with him, I didn't want to be an outdoor freelance travel writer anymore.  It seemed so... trite.

The experiences that caved my world in, and the journey I was on with my son told me that there was more to my life than writing articles about outdoor life (not knocking it at all.  Somebody else can do it!).

Nope, my path changed dramatically in a few months.  And six years later, as that little boy turns into a charming, smart, well-behaved, compassionate, heart-melting human being, I know I was right about the switch.

Maybe I have already written about this lately, but I'll write it again:

Little Brady P. Pie Jones is an absolutely beautiful, captivating human being.

When people see him or meet him, they just know.  They know he is not just special, but enchanting.  I tell people his superhero name would be The Heart Melter.

Because he is.

If you are angry, you won't be angry if Brady P. enters the room. If you are sad, and he gives you a hug, you will find a reason to smile.  If you get a boo boo, he will try to make it better.  If you see him in his element, he will try to make you laugh... and when you laugh, he will make you laugh harder!

On Monday I brought him in for his well-child checkup.  He did everything so nice for the nurse, and he sat so sweetly in his flirtatious way while the nurses asked me the routine questions.

On her way out the door, the first nurse said, "You are a very well-behaved young man."  Then she turned to me and said, "Great job, Mom!"

That made my heart feel so good.  People really notice what a little gentleman he is.

He always says hello to a passerby, and he often blows a kiss when somebody leaves the room.

What a little love!

Okay, so here's the wonderful thing that's been on my mind.

Ehem.

I am this little boy's Mom!

I get to be with him almost everyday of his life!  I get all the laughs, the kisses, the jokes, the sweetness, the goofiness, the tricks, the magic, the amazement -- everything!

I get to be there when he starts to ask more questions.  When he uses more words in his sentences.  When he shows me how he understands more abstract concepts.  When he reaches new milestones.

I get to be there to see it all!

It is quite possible that I am the luckiest person on the planet.

When I think back to those days of internal debates about whether or not I should have a kid, I just shake my head.

There is no way I could have possibly fathomed how my life would change once the greatest gift a person can receive on this earth came into my life.

And I'm glad I never tried to plan for it any certain way.

Because things are working out perfectly.

No words needed

Enjoy your day!

Zombie Exercise

Hi!

Apparently Thursday is the new Wednesday.  It happens!

So there are a few transitions during the early years of parenthood.  

There's that one where you realize that you are now physically in charge of moving a small child around because they are no longer pouched in your own body.  Strollers, backpacks, front packs, arms, etc.  You take them with you.  You can go for walks pushing a stroller and still get some real exercise.

Then they want to move on their own.  Suddenly you have a person walking when you walk.  Except, they walk so slowly.  Painfully slow.  You wonder how the heck you're ever going to bust a sweat going 0.2 miles an hour and stopping so they can inspect every ant and sniff every flower.  Okay.  That's not the exercise phase.  That's the slow-down-and-smell-the-roses phase.

Then, finally, that little shaver gets big and strong enough to go out and hike with you.  Ride a bike with you.  Whatever you like to do together, you can do it at more of the same pace.

That's where B and I are right now.  He absolutely loves to hit the trails, become a zombie and chase me until he needs a break.  Sometimes I get to be the zombie, and I chase him.  We run and run and run!

I mean, my "run" is a light jog, but what an upgrade from standing there watching him take walking breaks and squish ants.

And it's so good for both of us to get outside in this super fresh air and pant.  What a cleanse!

On our zombie chases, we usually go about a mile.  That's pretty substantial for his little legs, and it's not too shabby for a mama.

Plus, we laugh and tumble in the grass and find cool things to look at along the way.  We jump off of things and climb.  Those are all things his PT would be so happy about!

So it's nice to get out with my little man where we both get a workout in.  And, I'm not going to hide the fact that he often comes back on my shoulders.  Time for his break and my extra workout!

Speaking of, there's just enough time for us to catch a zombie run.  See you next week!

Some one is "hiding!"

A Lesson in Phonetics

Phon-e-what?

Phonetics!

Take a deep breath.  There's no quiz at the end.

And by the way, I didn't know what phonetics was until after the first day of my phonetics class in college!

My Dictionary app defines phonetics as: "the science or study of speech sounds and their production, transmission, and reception, and their analysis, classification and transcription."

Don't stop reading just yet.  This will all make, sense, I promise!

Why did I take this class in college?  

I was an English major, and my advisor recommended it.

Did I actually like it?  

I absolutely loved it!  As nerdy as it sounds, I was fascinated by the intricacies used between our brain and mouths (tongue placement, lip shape, breath movement, etc.) that produce the sounds we make to speak clearly.

It's what allows us to communicate with each other.  And it's such a beautiful thing.

Why do you think babies  usually learn to say the "ma" and "ba" sounds first?  Because they're easy sounds!

Hum behinds your closed lips and then open your mouth a bit.  Did you say "ma" or "ba?"  Probably!

Now say the letter "f."  Notice how you have to rest your top teeth just right on your lower lip and blow with just the right pressure to make an "f" sound.  That one is more difficult to master.

I know because I have Brady P.

He used to only be able to cognitively blow through his nose (birthday candles and all!).  He would position his teeth and lips to look like the "f" sound, but then he blew the air through his nose and blinked his eyes.  Ha!

Try that.  Say a few words with an "f" in them while blowing out your nose (and blinking).  Not very efficient.

I'm not going to go through the entire alphabet with you.  You can do it on your own on your next drive.  Pay attention to which of your mouth's accessories you use to complete each sound.

It is really something!

Now here is my point of this post.  It is also what I am so proud of with Brady P.

He can now make all the sounds of the alphabet pretty flawlessly (when he enunciates) except the letters: d, j, l, n and t.

Make all of those letter sounds right now.  D, J, L, N, T.

What do they all have in common?  Can you tell?

They all require you to put the tip of your tongue to the roof of your mouth.

Right?

This is hard for Brady P. for a couple reasons.  One is that his tongue prefers to go out or down.  It is a lot of work for him to stick it up.  The other is that the roof of his mouth is higher than most, so he really has to work that tongue extra high.

Okay, now hold your tongue somewhere in the middle of your mouth and try saying d, j, l, n and t again.  

What did that sound like?

Probably like Brady P!

If you are unable, for any reason, to get your tongue up there, you will not be able to produce those sound correctly.  And after so many failed attempts, your brain will reroute the placement of your mouthparts until it happily substitutes a sound.

(As another example of this, many kids sub the "wa" sound for "ra."  Heck, even some adults do!  That's a tricky one!)

But the substitutions are pretty consistent.

I know that my little man's "da" usually sounds like a "ga" and his "ta" usually sounds like a "ka."  Knowing these substitutions, I can often figure out what he is saying.

I'll be honest, though.  I don't know all the time!

But we are trying.

And with such a great team to model how to make those sounds, I know he won't stop trying until he gets them just right.

So here's to d, j, l, n and t!  The last five letters for Brady P. to master!

And here's to that phonetics class I took in college.  What a jewel that turned out to be -- especially when I sit in on his speech therapy sessions.

One of my new favorite pics of him

In the Wescoat Field

Bag of Tricks

Hi!

Wow.  Okay.  This week kind of flew by.

I am the deputy clerk of Grant Township, and we recently held an election.  Not sure if you've heard of one of those, but I have been keeping track of absentee ballots for months and helping people vote on November 3rd.   Maybe you voted in your own precinct.  Good for you!

Anyway, for my excuse, I had some post-partum exhaustion after that.  Whew!  Glad that's over on my end!  

I hope...

Other than that, nobody has sent me their story yet, so I will share a super happy one of mine.

Did I tell you that Brady P. found an amazingly wonderful young lady to be his aide/mentor/magician (whatever you want to call her) at the school???

Yes!  He did!

After I was going to ship us to Calumet, she magically appeared. And she is perfect.

Here is why.

She gets to his level, sees what he is doing and what he wants to do, and steers him to do what she needs him to do from there.  Joyfully.

BINGO!

Did I not just talk about that?

I have already seen great improvements in his penmanship, acquiescence to do math, potty training, overall studiousness and ability to stay on task.

Those are all great, right?  I mean, that's the point of school.

But here's where I see magic.

He is not exhausted when he comes home.  He is not resistant.  He is still full of joy.

Even though his is working harder at his desk and getting more done, he is not so tired.

What does that show me?  He is enjoying himself.  He is flowing freely throughout the day and learning and accomplishing as he goes.

I also saw this improve when my own methods changed with him.  We both have more energy!

Do you see what I'm saying?

Stress and resistance, whether it be a person at work or a student at school, drain a person.  It doesn't even mean it's anybody's fault.  Sometimes the issue is not always noticed, and therefore it is never addressed.

Even if you try to work on a home project and find yourself constantly troubleshooting, you will be more tired than if your project went smoothly.  Your productivity (the end product) is the same, but the amount of energy it took to get there is different.

See the parallels?  

Now, Braeden's job at school is a bit different than the other kids because he doesn't fall in line as easily.  He needs a helper for pretty much everything.  But when that helper comes with a bag of tools and tricks to meet him at his level and get him to escalate to the realm of the other kids, that is magic.

He does not resist, and he is not stressed out.  He is praised and respected.  He is assisted and adored.  Plus, his productivity goes up, so he has more to be proud of.

His new aide has lofty goals for him, and she knows how to help him reach them.  It is so beautiful, it makes my heart burst out of my chest and tears well in my eyes.

I am so grateful it worked out this way.  I just see so much expansion and so many possibilities for him.  Not that I didn't think he was on a good path before, but this certainly gives him a turbo boost!

And we get to stay home in our little town.

For that, also, I am grateful.

B's school picture 2020

In retrospect, I should have given him a haircut before picture day!

Your Turn!

Hey!

So, you gave me this idea.

Yeah, you.  The reader!

I have gotten quite a few personal messages and emails from you lately.  In a nutshell, those notes are thanking me for sharing the hard parts of life because often, you can't.

Well, guess what.  Now you can!

I would like to take this opportunity during this time in our history and this time where you feel the need to share, to let you share.

Share a story about something hard you overcame.  Share a story about a solution that you found that works in stressful situations.  Share about a pattern that you can't seem to get out of.  Share about your grief, pain, joy, gratitude, etc.

Just share it with us!

Anonymously.

Nobody needs to know it's you except you.

You can send me your story via email at amandak114 at yahoo.com.  If you don't want me to know it's you, then send it through a trusted friend's email.  If you don't care if I know it's you, hit me up on messenger, text or email.

But I won't tell anyone it's you.  

If you see that I published your story and you want to share that post on your social media, that's totally up to you.

I just want more people to let their voices be heard.  Because everyone's voice is important.

So share your story!

If I get a lot of stories, I'll string them out over the weeks.  If I get a couple, I'll put them all in one post.

The only stipulation is that you send me a true, heartfelt story or experience.  And if I suspect that it's foul play, I won't add it.  I have that liberty, you know.

If you read other stories and are compelled to write something short, you can always add an anonymous comment.

Okay, well, hopefully you will hear from somebody else besides me next week!

This is you... waiting to burst!

Love and Connection

Hey!

I hope you're doing great.

We are pretty darn great ourselves.  We are!

I just went back and read a couple of the dark posts I wrote this spring.  Looking back, I still find them useful.  I mean, I teared  up as I remembered how low I was feeling, but I think that the wisdom I found to share is still valid.

You can scroll down and find them if you want, but this week's post is to update you because I got a chance to reflect even more.  For months.  And with lots of new learning under my belt.

Just a quick recap: when school stopped indefinitely on March 13, 2020, I knew I had a big job to do.

No longer would I send my child to school where qualified people would prompt him to read, write, learn science, add numbers, see other kids, receive specialized therapies, etc, etc.

I would have to do that all with him.

Alone.

So at first I tried.  I tried really hard.

And it was good.

But the expectations never stopped.  They just kept becoming more and more with virtual school and isolation and me and him and him and me.

I thought I had to keep up with all those things.  I thought he needed physical therapy, speech therapy, fine motor therapy, reading, writing, getting outside, and everything all at once.

Truthfully, he benefits from all those things.

But I could not do it all.

And I felt like a failure.

Do you know what he really needed in those times?

It was really only one simple thing, and, in my despair, I put on the back burner.

It was love.

It still is love.

Know how I know?

Because I am focusing on that now.

Love and connection.

I was so frustrated with feeling frustrated with him and myself, that I started reading this book called Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids by Dr. Laura Markham.

In all honesty, I am not even done with it yet.  I will finish it at some point, but I already feel like I have made big changes in our relationship.  Big changes where we laugh so hard together everyday.

We snuggle genuinely.

We kiss and hug.

We talk about things.

The biggest thing I have changed is my mentality.  I am focusing on our connection.

Our life is no longer about what I want him to do or what other people want him to do.  It's about what he wants to do and how we need to do it so he learns best.

Before you think I'm raising a spoiled brat, I assure you, I'm not.  Just the opposite.  He is polite.  He is becoming patient.  He is becoming independent.  He is becoming more helpful.

He is truly amazing, and so is our relationship.

I have changed my mentality from dictating my authority (and getting frustrated when it doesn't work -- which it doesn't on a daily basis), to observing him.

I pay attention to what he is doing in the moment when I need him to do something else.  Then I use what he is doing (or wants to do) to motivate him to do what I need him to do.

It is life-changing for us both, and it is truly beautiful.

I would recommend Dr. Markham's book to any parent.  Or even any non-parent who wants to relate better to other people in general.

She also has a website called AhaParenting.com.   I just checked it out.  What I like is that she divides ideas for coaching your child into the child's age group, so you can read what applies to you now.

However, I'm a real sucker for brain development talk, so I like to read from the infant stage on.  I try not to dwell on all the times I screwed up when B was a baby (cuz I was really stressed out!) because people's neurological pathways are always changing with the input they are given.

It only took a couple months for me to notice big changes in how he responds to me.  He puts more trust in me and enjoys doing things to help me out -- sometimes without being asked!  I mean, what a miracle!

In turn, I am more peaceful with myself.  More creative to troubleshoot (because that's a huge part of parenting) and more patient to wait for him to respond in my favor on his own accord.

That is seriously magical.

I'm all for it.

Well, hey.  Thanks for making it this far down the page.  Here's a cute pic of my Wee Man wearing Grampa's glasses a couple weeks ago.

You take care, and be patient with yourself!