Bag of Tricks

Hi!

Wow.  Okay.  This week kind of flew by.

I am the deputy clerk of Grant Township, and we recently held an election.  Not sure if you've heard of one of those, but I have been keeping track of absentee ballots for months and helping people vote on November 3rd.   Maybe you voted in your own precinct.  Good for you!

Anyway, for my excuse, I had some post-partum exhaustion after that.  Whew!  Glad that's over on my end!  

I hope...

Other than that, nobody has sent me their story yet, so I will share a super happy one of mine.

Did I tell you that Brady P. found an amazingly wonderful young lady to be his aide/mentor/magician (whatever you want to call her) at the school???

Yes!  He did!

After I was going to ship us to Calumet, she magically appeared. And she is perfect.

Here is why.

She gets to his level, sees what he is doing and what he wants to do, and steers him to do what she needs him to do from there.  Joyfully.

BINGO!

Did I not just talk about that?

I have already seen great improvements in his penmanship, acquiescence to do math, potty training, overall studiousness and ability to stay on task.

Those are all great, right?  I mean, that's the point of school.

But here's where I see magic.

He is not exhausted when he comes home.  He is not resistant.  He is still full of joy.

Even though his is working harder at his desk and getting more done, he is not so tired.

What does that show me?  He is enjoying himself.  He is flowing freely throughout the day and learning and accomplishing as he goes.

I also saw this improve when my own methods changed with him.  We both have more energy!

Do you see what I'm saying?

Stress and resistance, whether it be a person at work or a student at school, drain a person.  It doesn't even mean it's anybody's fault.  Sometimes the issue is not always noticed, and therefore it is never addressed.

Even if you try to work on a home project and find yourself constantly troubleshooting, you will be more tired than if your project went smoothly.  Your productivity (the end product) is the same, but the amount of energy it took to get there is different.

See the parallels?  

Now, Braeden's job at school is a bit different than the other kids because he doesn't fall in line as easily.  He needs a helper for pretty much everything.  But when that helper comes with a bag of tools and tricks to meet him at his level and get him to escalate to the realm of the other kids, that is magic.

He does not resist, and he is not stressed out.  He is praised and respected.  He is assisted and adored.  Plus, his productivity goes up, so he has more to be proud of.

His new aide has lofty goals for him, and she knows how to help him reach them.  It is so beautiful, it makes my heart burst out of my chest and tears well in my eyes.

I am so grateful it worked out this way.  I just see so much expansion and so many possibilities for him.  Not that I didn't think he was on a good path before, but this certainly gives him a turbo boost!

And we get to stay home in our little town.

For that, also, I am grateful.

B's school picture 2020

In retrospect, I should have given him a haircut before picture day!

Little School Boy

Happy Hump Day!

We'll help you over that hump with some really cool news.

Braeden had his first FULL day of school today.  Just to try it out before he goes to five full days of kindergarten next year.

I have to admit that I didn't think he would last all day.  I thought he would turn into a crab sack and need to be sent home.  Perhaps he only gets like that around his family.  Ha!

So I was wrong.  Here's how it went from all that I know.

The bus pulled up, and he crawled right up those giant steps.  All the girls on the bus yelled, "Braeden, come sit by me!"  "I want to sit by you, Braeden!"  "Braeden, come sit back here!" and I was so flattered.

Instead, he plopped down in the front seat all by himself (and knowing him, that will be his seat for the rest of his life).  I buckled him in, kissed his head and waved to the girls.  Grammy waved from outside the bus.

All day long I stayed close to home, ready for that "Come get him!" call.  But I never got it.  Instead, I pedaled to pick him up at 2:30pm.  

As I coasted into the lot, the girls shouted, "Braeden did so good today!"  "We got extra Braeden hugs because he was here all day!"  "Yeah!  Braeden did awesome!"

And my heart began to swell.

Surprisingly, I got the same report from all the staff as well.  He was focused and stayed on task pretty much all day.  He even consented to a half hour rest on the cot.  And he didn't ask for me until 15 minutes before I came to get him.

What a trooper!  I was so proud of him!  My heart was ready to burst, and I held back my tears (but nobody would have judged).

The staff members from all angles have been amazingly supportive, positive and full of great ideas to get Brady P. to this point.  I am humbly grateful and severely impressed with everyone -- even the students.

So there you have it, my friend.  Little Brady P. is helping to pave the way for special education in the one room schoolhouse in Copper Harbor, Michigan... and I don't think anyone would have it any other way.

How to Advocate

Being the parent of a child with "special needs" is, well, different.  And special.

Today I'm going to talk a little bit about what we have experienced within the education system because it can be challenging.  

My goal is to inform the mainstream public, who may never  have to think about such a deviation.  But more importantly, I want to give advice to parents who are in the same situation.

It can be difficult if you don't know your rights.

This blog is about advocacy.  My dictionary.com app defines advocacy as: the act of pleading for, supporting or recommending.  

It is not a passive word.  It is active.  It requires time, energy, research and dedication.

Here's my story to illustrate this. 

Brady P. started pre-preschool in 2017.  It started as two days a week for 2 1/2 hours a day, then went to three days a week.

I was mostly excited because I knew that would be the most socialization he would get in our little hermit lives.  He would see other kids.

He could watch them.  

He could listen to them speak.

He could interact with them to the best of his ability (which was mostly hugs and hair pulling).

He would catch their germs.

But he would be with them, and they would experience him.

Socialization at its finest.

I wasn't too concerned about academics, since I already knew he was a genius.

But here is where it was different for me.

I had to accompany him each day for the duration in case he pooped in his diaper.  The one room schoolhouse does not offer diaper-changing service.  And I get it.  I used to teach preschool at the one room schoolhouse.  That was not part of my job description, nor did I want it to be.

So I was there each day he was.  I hid out in a little office room and did administrative tasks that I could not do with a three-year-old running around and screaming for me (that was his method back then.  Now it's a polite "Mommy" and a tug on the sleeve.)

I watched the other parents drop their pre-preschoolers off, give them a hug and say good-bye.

I could not do that.

I wanted it so bad.

It was not an option.

This year started out the same.  I accompanied him each day, three days a week... dutifully, yet begrudgingly.

Why couldn't I just drop my child off at school and hug him goodbye?  When would my life start? 

Something had to change.  

Brady P. still poops in his pants (though the peeing on the potty is going really well!), so I had to be there.  Not only for that, but he needs a communication liaison.  He needs help washing his hands and eating lunch.  He needs to be told to stay in his seat.  He needs someone to pay attention so he doesn't run out the door and down the road to throw rocks at the shore.

He needs his own aid.

Low and behold, his IEP was up for review at the end of September.

What's an IEP?  It stands for Individualized Education Program.  Any child with a learning disability, behavior problems, etc. should have an IEP in place, so that child, the teachers and the other students all have a chance to work together as cohesively as possible without extra interruptions.

That's how I see it at least.  It's a way to keep the child included for the most part while making sure they receive the extra attention and support they need to thrive.

 

Wearing my mittens

That photo was purposely inserted to keep you interested as I talk about potentially boring factual information.  What a ham.

So Brady P. has an IEP.  

When he turned three, he started in the Special Education program which was the next step after Early On, an early intervention program from birth to three years old.  Special Ed uses IEPs.

Braeden's current Special Ed case worker (and angel, I'm quite convinced) saw the situation at the Copper Harbor one room schoolhouse.  Well, okay, I sent her a desperate email asking how we can make everything the best we can for Brady P.

She was all in.

I will interject here that we were thinking of moving to Arkansas for the winter, so Braeden could still see his dad on weekends.  So I was looking into schools there as well.

With an IEP, the needs requested in that document would transfer to another state.  So when our Michigan IEP was being written, any possible requests for Arkansas were considered as well.

Talk about covering our bases.  He could have gone to school in pretty much any state, and had his needs covered without having hours of assessments done.

Anyway, we wrote the plan for his speech and physical therapy needs.  They were adjusted as I saw fit because I learned a lot from the last IEP's mistakes.

"Can we see you more often?" I asked his speech therapist last fall.

"Well, it's in the IEP as once a month, so... we could make an amendment... but now winter is coming..." she lamented like we were kind of stuck.

Bam.  That answered this mom's questions.

GET EVERYTHING WE NEED IN THE IEP.

If you are a parent with a child who travels down this path, please heed this advice.  Do not wait for the professionals to tell you what they think.  

Tell them what you think, and be adamant.

You know your child best.

The professionals I have worked with all do their job very well, but they cover many children.  

You cover that one.

Get what you need for your child.

That's what we did.  With the help of the Angel case worker.

And now I come full circle.

I am not typing this blog from the little office in the one room schoolhouse like I have for many posts over the past year or so.

I am at my kitchen table, looking at the sun shine on the cedar trees.

Because Braeden has an aid.

***!!!Insert happy dance and Alleluiah songs!!!***

Yes, Brady P. has his own aid, three days a week.  A local person who does not have to drive an hour through the blizzards.  Bless his heart for applying and taking on the challenge of my little man.

So do you know what I got to do each day this week?

I got to kiss and hug my little preschooler goodbye.

He does so well when I leave.

I think we both need that.

When you know how the system works, you can use it in your favor, and get what you need.  I have found the professionals very knowledgeable, helpful and pleased that I take an active role in my son's education.

Please note that I am the representative for Grant Township on the Parent Advisory Committee (PAC) for Keweenaw, Houghton and Baraga Counties.  If you know of any parents in this area who are struggling with the system, please feel free to contact me personally, or call their office at (906)289-4250 ext.181.

You can attend a meeting with us for camaraderie, support, advice or more information.  There is a lot of support in the area, and yours (if you live somewhere else) that you may not know about.

Believe in your child, and believe in yourself.  I have learned that the possibilities are endless.