Geez, after missing last week, I have so much to say!
But I don't have enough moments to myself to write it all to you. Not complaining, just saying!
Let me stick to one of the most beautiful things I've learned through all this isolating business.
I'm pretty sure I already told you it's me and B, B and me 24/7 these days. He is my quarantine buddy.
He is my cheerleader, too.
"Good job, Mommy!" when I eat all my lunch.
"Good job, Mommy!" when I put my clothes on in the morning.
"Good job, Mommy!" when I pee on the potty.
"Good job, Mommy!" when I find a pair during the matching game.
And so on. I mean, is anyone applauding you for all the mundane tasks you do each day? It's pretty uplifting!
Oops, I already got off track.
I wanted to tell you about the peace I have in my heart. All my external expectations have been released. No traveling, no appointments, no meet-ups, no other jobs, no nothin'. Everything I do hinges on what B and I need to get through the day.
I know everybody's quarantine situation is different, but this is ours. I often try to think about how things would be if I was in other people's situations through all this. It helps with compassion -- one of my favorite things to learn.
But again, I digress. Ha!
Back to the peace.
So, with all this settling of our life, I am able to stay at a relatively stable, peaceful place in my heart. When I am living from that place, Brady P. is amazing. He makes me laugh, he tries new things, he gives me sweet kisses, etc.
When I get disheartening news in an email or see something horrific on the news or realize one of my friends is having a hard time, I get stressed.
Brady P. feels that. Even the littlest bit of stress, anxiety, anger or sadness that I feel, he feels it.
How do I know?
Because he gives it right back to me. It's like he is mirroring me. And I usually don't notice right away. I just think he's being a little turd. However, once his behavior reaches a point where it makes my own attitude explode, I realize that it stemmed from me.
So what is this teaching me?
It is teaching me what a peaceful heart feels like and what a turbulent heart feels like.
It's okay to have turbulence in your heart enough to get your attention. You have to figure out what it's trying to tell you. Then you can say, "Okay, turbulence. I no longer want to feel you. I want to feel peace. I will use what I have learned from you in order to move forward with more wisdom. Thank you."
Then let it go.
You can't ignore the turbulence altogether, though. Because, especially if you have a tiny human mirror for your emotions, you will see that you are hiding nothing. Ignoring nothing. It's blatant, and other people (should you see other people!) can see it.
Face the turbulence. Talk to it. Figure it out. Use the new knowledge as a tool and move forward to do the next right thing.
If you keep on a path of always doing the right things, the path unfolds beautifully. I know because I do my best to live that way.
That doesn't mean that nothing "bad" happens to me. Circumstances happen. And they are circumstances. Only in each of our perceptions do we, as individuals, decide if the circumstance is "bad" or "good" or anything in between.
Then we act or react in order to get back to the state we are most comfortable in. For me, it's doing the right thing with my heart at peace.
Now let me tell you this about having your heart be at peace.
Every little thing that is disruptive to your peaceful heart is immediately brought to your attention with an icky feeling. If you face that icky feeling (turbulence) head on, and don't try to drown it out, you can learn and grow from it.
This is the beauty of life.
Thanks for listening. It's wonderful for me to get to tell you about what I learn on this journey.
Since you made it all the way though, here is a picture B and me wearing wigs during one of our many funky dance parties. I don't know if I could have asked for a cooler quarantine buddy!
Now I know I told you a little bit about what's in my heart, but more importantly is for you to tell yourself what's in your heart.
If you are in a position to have a lot of down time, with or without others around, sit quietly (if you can!) and just breathe. Take the time to ponder what's in your heart. Even ask out loud! The answer may come at another time if it doesn't right away.
My best to you. Be smart and stay safe!
Thank you for sharing these words.ReplyDelete
Thank you for all you share. Every day is a practice journey of fun, excitement, sadness and anger. Every day learning a new step. I feel it never stops showing and learnin . Practice time last forever. Thank you for your reminder.ReplyDelete